I have decided to change a little, i do admit that this is something that i have done in the past, "ill change" but it has always been for the wrong reasons. I dont want to be consider mentally ill, or just plain crazy, i am me, i have a lot to offer in life. So, from now on ill just try to have a more positive attitude towards stuff.
Some of my friends know what i do, i wont say i used to because not even 2 weeks ago i was cutting but they do know. And while we were sitting the other day one of them asked me, "How you've been, are u still cutting?" to me that was just the end of the night, i pull my sleeve down and curl up in the couch. Now why did i do that? If the ones that were present know what i do, why do i feel the need to retreat into myself?
I don't like when people say or talk about my "issues" like I'm not there, they tend to make mean comments regarding it because they don't understand. I sorta get the fact that to people on the outside this is wrong and it shouldn't be a way to control your feelings or emotions, i totally understand that, but how can u judge and label something that u don't understand nor u want to? sure it hurts u to see that I'm hurting myself, and u wish i would stop, but instead of calling me, crazy or a cheese grater, wouldn't it be easier to just shut the fuck up? lol, i started this post as something positive and look where it has taken me...I don't think that someone like me can be "fixed".
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